Your marriage used to be filled with happy times. Like the time when you bought your first home together. You spent hours collaborating on paint colors and pillows until the house you bought was the perfect representation of your dreams and wishes for the future. It became your home. You walked hand in hand exploring your neighborhood learning the ins and outs of your community, picking your favorite places – together. These were times of adventure and excitement. Times of fun and joy. Celebration and love.
Together, you took care to honor the milestones and anniversaries of your relationship. You made sure to emphasize the importance of your accomplishments apart – and as a couple – and rooted for each other to succeed in all areas of your life.
Sure, some tough times came along, but when they did, you rolled through them, laughed through the tears, and came out the other side – together.
But somewhere along the way, you both forgot to take the time. The time to care for one another, the time to put the effort in for one another. The time to love one another. Everything that was once good and beautiful in your marriage is gone. Or at the least, very, very far away.
You’ve been drifting along in a sea of sameness. Neither you nor your partner, have been present in the relationship and you haven’t been partners for a very long time. It seems like you’re still together for everyone else: your kids, your families, your friends… but you can’t remember the last time you did something that felt truly right for you.
The idea of breaking up is difficult. You feel like part of you might be dying! When you imagine learning to live alone again, you get really scared, and it’s easy to numb yourself and avoid the pain. But, you’re not the only one who’s been through this process.
Contemplating divorce or a separation is the most difficult decision you’ve ever had to make. You’re stuck wondering whether it is the right thing to do, whether there’s a chance your marriage could get better, and if you do split up you whether you’ll ever find someone new whenever you’re ready to fall in love again. There’s one thing you’re sure of though, you’re no longer interested in going through the motions anymore or being a shell of yourself.
You’re ready to explore what life would be like on your own. Who you might become
on your own.
In separations/divorces that are particularly traumatizing, we will have the opportunity to use a therapeutic approach called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). EMDR is a type of therapy that is especially helpful for trauma cases and helps individuals overcome emotional pain quickly. The process involves stimulating both sides of the brain, isolating trigger memories, and transforming painful at an emotional level.
In separations/divorces that are particularly traumatizing, we will have the opportunity to use a therapeutic approach called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). EMDR is a type of therapy that is especially helpful for trauma cases and helps individuals overcome emotional pain quickly. The process involves stimulating both sides of the brain, isolating trigger memories, and transforming painful at an emotional level.
The final aspect of separation counseling is where we work on rebuilding yourself as an individual. Together we will reframe your marriage from a failure to something you can remember fondly and with appreciation. A significant transformation will take place and you will develop a new identity. You will develop the ability to view yourself as
a strong individual and not evaluate yourself based on the expectations of your family, friends, or community and you will become comfortable with and grow to love your new identity.
My name is Anna. I’m originally from Latvia and currently call Virginia Beach home. I am a Master’s level clinician, a Licensed Professional Counselor, and a National Board Certified Counselor.
I graduated from East Carolina University and am professionally trained in EMDR Therapy and Emotionally Focussed Therapy.
My passion is helping people find their true selves in and out
of romantic relationships and I have been translating this passion to my work with separation counseling for over ten.
I do not currently work with insurance companies, though I expect to accept certain policies later this year.
In the meantime, you and I can work together to explore payment options such as Flexible Spending Accounts, Health Service Accounts, and Out of Network insurance benefits.
To learn more about specific session durations and rates сlick HERE
It is possible for you and your partner to decide if you should continue your marriage. You will be able to face your friends and community knowing that, even if you decide to divorce, you’ve done so in a way that is best for your family, your spouse, and yourself. Just because the love might be gone from your marriage, the respect doesn’t have to be.
You’ll be able to live your life in Virginia Beach without feelings of self-doubt or failure. You’ll be able to build new, strong relationships with yourself and others. Ultimately, you’ll have the confidence of knowing you made the right choice.
To schedule an appointment for marriage counseling at Center for Mindful Counseling in Virginia Beach, Virginia click HERE